The eye...the LAZY eye

First and foremost. I missed my post in October. Be mad. Get over it. Be Glad. I am not a fan of the color purple, but the background Sheen put up for October/Halloween was purple and AMAZING. It made me re-think my distrust of purple. It is moving up in the world of colors.

So, last week I had surgery on the lazy eye. Do not stress out. It is still lazy, just not as lazy. It got a work improvement plan, I suppose. Anyway, so a post to the lazy eye.

The benefits of having a lazy eye...

1.) Well, you can look at people (especially good looking men) without them noticing. Basically spying is a breeze.

2.) You can pretend you don't see people (and thus, hear) people talk to/at you. Therefore when the boss has a project to assign, you don't have to do it because um...."Boss, I wasn't even looking at you...were you talking to me?"

3.) You can blog about it when nothing else is exciting enough to blog about.

4.) You can have 2 computer screens at work and feel completely justified....one for each eye.

5.) The peripheral vision creates a whole new world. One time my friend tried to kick me on the bum from the side as we walked...I caught her leg before it hit me and just had to say "Lazy Eye." Did she ever try that again? I think not! The lazy eye is full of protection.

6.) It makes me a statistic. In fact, the kind of thing that happened to my lazy eye happens to only 5% of people with lazy eyes.... The real question is...is that the top 5% or the bottom 5%? Am I an over achiever or under achiever?

7.) Sometimes people can't tell if I am looking at them or not and I say, "I am looking at you...I have a lazy eye." Then, the other person feels embarrassed and for at least 2 minutes, I have their sympathy and can get them to do anything I desire. Dang it...I am not manipulating people. :)

8.) The lazy eye produces random surgeries and therefore I get to sleep for like 4 days straight on crazy drugs without anyone being concerned. (Not the best reason though, let's be honest.)

9.) It gives my Pops and I a special bond....for he has a lazy eye too.

10.) It gives me "character." As if I needed anymore. At first, when the lazy eye came back when I started college, it was embarrassing, but then it became awesomely cool. I will take what I get. Weaknesses become strengths. Just saying.

11.) The following picture is a blackmail picture for sure, but just whatever. It was taken the day after surgery. I was on painkiller drugs, I was looking sick nasty. But that there is the eyes. Beautiful. Holla! *On a side note, I sent this pic to my co-worker to show her the eye and when I went back to work today, a co worker had this picture up as her screen saver. Now, that's love....yah, right. Ha ha.

-T and her Fantastic Eyes.

A month later...still random as ever

Welp...it's been a month.

This is what I know...

1.) If you live in Nebraska...and it is cold outside...and the only thing you have in your car is a Virginia Tech hoodie....and the Huskers have just lost 2 days ago to Tech in football by one point....JUST BE COLD!!! Do not and I repeat DO NOT wear the VT hoodie....unless you like death threats/evil eyes/ people avoiding you/etc. I thought people avoided me when I was a missionary and trying to talk to them about Jesus randomly...no no...this takes the cake for people avoiding you.

2.) I saw a commercial for a dating website... it is supposed to be for "sophisticated" folk...then they told me it was called "Sugardaddie.com!" I have a hard time believing sophistication is the winning attribute of this site.

3.) Taking the time at work to try and learn how to use the mouse with the other hand does not help you accomplish more. Even if your co worker says it'll help. Logic just wasn't there.

4.) On Friday we are having Pirate day at work. Today I put a treasure chest together at work in honor of it. I feel I accomplished a lot today because of that and I also believe that this could be by far the best day of work yet. Thank you Pirates for making my days the best they can be.

5.) My family went to Virginia. I watched my sister's 6 week old foster baby. She is a cute cute baby. I love her. I loved her at 2 in the am. I loved her when she cried. I loved her when she smiled. I did the loving and now I love being an aunt again. Thank you for that free birth control. (no really...it wasn't that bad...just call me Mother Theresa).

6.) I have recently learned I am a sinner. I am a sinner because apparently it is a SIN to make Ramen Noodles in the microwave....oh my gosh....I didn't know I was supposed to be boiling the water on the stove this whole time. Please forgive me...I know not what I do.... The error of my way has been resolved.

7.) I want to dress up as cocaine for halloween....just dress in all white and carry a razor and a mirror. I think it's a very legit idea...so far, I'm the only one feeling this way....but hey...what do you expect, I used to microwave ramen.

8.) On Home Alone 2...kevin gets on an airplane and the dude next to him starts speaking in a different language...French perhaps....anyway, it is still a mystery to me as to what that guy is saying. I would like to know....it may not solve world hunger, but it'd solve one of the biggest mystery's in my life.

9.) Sometimes I say FAN-freaking-TASTIC. It gives a lot of emphasis to how I feel. The other week my friend said and I quote, "FAN-freaking-AMAZING." Not only did it have much more emphasis than what I say...it also confused me...which gave it all the more emphasis. Good work friend...good work. It'll catch on...you'll see.

10.) One of my new goals in life is to have an amazingly average story that I can submit on "mylifeisaverage.com" Hopefully it'll happen soonish...emphasis on the ish. If you haven't gone to that site...do it. Laugh out loud (for reals...not the fake LOL's) funny! Love it.

11.) Lastly....this is what I have learned. I need to always keep my phone on silent when I am asleep...or people call and I start talking about my under-roo's and the person on the other line is confused and starts calling me a "white ninja" because what else is there to say. That's embarrassing...not that it happened to me per se... just um... "a friend." Just my phone is on silent at nights now. That's all!

12.) I am a big fan of my family! high fives to all of them. Amen.

good day...i said good day...

tdizzle

Late in the game but not down and out

This was supposed to be a daily thing but listen...who really wants to know that much about me...honestly. So, about once a month I get on this beast and do it...and man. Can you believe this month is almost OVER! Dang judy time is a flying by... 

So random ten thoughts this time....

1.) I'm pretty sure I almost got beat down at work the other day...you see...my co workers put in a buck each for the Powerball so they could win MILLIONS of dollars. Well, I don't gamble or whatever so I didn't put in a buck and then I preceded to tell them that I hoped they didn't win. They were NOT happy with that. I just knew that if they won that they would all quit their job. I would miss them and I'd be chillin' all alone up in that place. No thank you. 

1b.) One co-worker did tell me she'd pay a months rent for me if she won...so that was kind.

2.) There is a show on TV about pawn shops...I find it way interesting even though I have only watched it once. It makes me want to own a pawn shop. Seems very entertaining... So if anybody is looking for a new business partner/new business....I'm down for pawn shoppage.

3.) I am going to Cedar for turkey day and Tam is coming too. So stoked. I know it's months away but the point is...get excited, cuz I am.

4.) My fish, Ludacris, is getting HUGE.  My dad says he feeds it 5 times a day. I am starting to wonder if my dad is fattening it up for dinner one night. Not acceptable behavior papa...no eating grandfish.

5.)  One thing I miss from college is going to the gym in the middle of the day between classes and watching Ellen while working out.  But I decided that it might be a good thing that this no longer happens because I used to laugh so hard at Ellen's talk show that I would be hunched over on the treadmill laughing hysterically and people oft times thought I was having a work out breakdown...as in "Do I need to call 911."  

6.) Who gets to makes up words like "Shomance" (see urbandictionary.com if confused) 

7.) My sister, Melissa, ran a 3K or something like that...I'm not really sure the number of K's...but I did support her by eating lots of carbs in honor of the event the day before. Yah. I am a rocking nice sister.  But seriously...props to the sister.

8.) My other sister, Catherine, got a new little foster baby. She is like 3 and a half weeks old now. I love her. I will say I love her more than A-1 sauce, simply orange juice, sleeping in...etc. I would say that is a lot of love. Go team. Thank you State of Nebraska for sharing this baby with us...sharing is caring.

9.) "I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so SCARED." If you know what that is from....you win about 82.674 bonus points in my book.  It has been in my head for the past week and I just shake my head and laugh. Oh the good times from TV history.

10.)  The best deal out there these days... A route 44 ice water from Sonic for a quarter.  Listen, they just have the best ice ever. Holla!

11.) Is it a compliment to be told you are like Dwight Schrute? I am gonna just take it as one.  In honor...Dwight Schrute: Yes I have acted before. I was in a production of "Oklahoma!" in the 7th grade. I played the part of Mutey the Mailman. They had too many kids so they made up roles like that. I was good. 

Good day.

T-Starr....ok ok...one more....Dwight Schrute: I think one of the greatest things about modern America is the computerization of medical records. As a volunteer sheriff I can look up anyone's psychiatric records or surgical histories. Yeast infections...there are a huge number of yeast infections in this county. Probably because we're downriver from that old bread factory...

Miss Thang.

Yesterday was my friend Sheena's birthday. So here is top ten reasons I love Sheena....

1.) Before we were even friends Sheena's apartment was across the parking lot from ours and she could see in our window and see us dancing around and acting like fools, but she still took the chance to become friends with us....even after seeing me scooter around in a bright orange sweatshirt and bright orange hardhat on.

2.) Sheena has utah hair, but she still lets me tease her about it. And she be looking dang good with her utah hair.

3.) I sent Sheena a Nebraska Hoodie that apparently still has the electronic security tag thingy on it (I wondered why I beeped when I left the store...I swear I didn't steal it) and she still wears it. She says..."I just move it over when it is bugging me."

4.) Sheena lets me call her "Miss Thang"...that's a story for another time, another place and mainly I remember being embarrassed by it which is why I don't tell it. :)

5.) Sheena knows how to locate "special water." (Remember that Tina?)

6.) Sheena updates my blog backgrounds which is why I thought she definitely deserved a blog.

7.) Sheena tries to help me lose weight by trying to break my entire leg off once with the car. Unreal.

8.) She has this amazing turkey dance she does when she sees a whole raw turkey....it is comparable with Michael Jackson's dancing.

9.) She drove to Nebraska with me one summer....she asked questions the entire time (none of which I knew the answer to), won my family over, beat me at basketball on my own turf, ate all the fudge in Nauvoo, hit a homer at the Field of Dreams place, got lost in the State Capitol building, etc. etc. etc. It's always exciting to have her around.

10.) She used to let me bug her all the time...at work, at her house, in TROPIC utah....

11.)She is a grand volleyball coach and player...she can be a bit feisty. It's good times to watch.

12.) She loves her family hardcore style and is definitely the favorite aunt of everyone.

13.) Bless her heart, she thinks the Yankees are amazing. We just try to overlook that one.

14.) She has the friends TV show memorized. I mean to the max... memorized.

15.) I really look up to Sheena because I have seen her grow and change over the last few years. She has always been really awesome, but she just impresses me more and more as I see her always striving to become better and follow the Lord. She has an amazing testimony and spirit which always pump me up and make me happy to be around her. She has great advice and is great at being a friend.

So happy birthday to you Sheen!!!!

Oh who knows...

Ten random thoughts

1.) I think the show American Gladiators is a classic and one of the most amazing shows to watch. I don't care how I am feeling, if I am flipping through channels and that show comes up...I will stop and watch it for a bit. What is the draw...it's not the spandex, that's for dang sure.

2.) I want to be the subject of  a "would you rather" question. That is a good, quality goal. I don't think it should be to hard seeing how I have a lazy eye.

3.) If the Office was on broadway...I would go see it. Hands down, no questions asked.

4.) Swimsuit shopping and doctors bring out the worst in me....not those two things at the same time...that'd be an interesting combo. Although, they also bring out really really funny stories later.

5.) My pops is a stud. It is fathers day and I really think my dad is super cool. So...not boom roasted to him.

6.) I have learned a really swell skill at work...filling up ink pads without spilling ink on my clothes. That is a resume builder for sure.

7.) I want a truck...only so I can steal random objects out of people's trash piles...people get rid of some dang good stuff. What would I do with...oh, you just wait and see.

8.) How did I end up with 3 free pieces of cheesecake from the cheesecake factory? I don't know but I am not complaining. Score to the max.

9.) My co-worker keeps telling me that I can buy 1500 lady bugs for $6.50. Apparently I look like I need a lot of lady bugs in my life?!?  Confusing...I think, YES!

10.) Confession....I sometimes use a safety pin as a button to hold my pants up. I feel a little whitetrash about it. But I also feel that people around me would rather have my pants up then seeing my whole world so I feel it evens my concerns out.

11.) Some kid told me the other day..."I know how to ride a two wheeler and I'm still five." I feel great about that.  I miss those days. 

12.) Possum's freak me out.  Just absolutely they frighten me esp. at night when they are running around in the area I am walking. Oh man, no bueno...no freakin' bueno.

13.) Using two foot-erized scooters at a time makes things a little hard, but very fun. I'm just lucky I didn't crash. 

Good day, I said Good day...

TDS

Ms. Matson and I

Well I told Brittani I would blog about the good times we had while she was home. It was an adventure as always. She was only home like 5 days but I am pretty sure we saw each other each day and laughed until we were crying every freaking day.

Here are the top ten that made the list of amazingness....

1.) Well, she did something that no one has been able to get me to do yet....get a pedicure. Yes, I got a pedicure. I had Friday off from work for Arbor Day (gotta love working in Nebraska)...so we decided to hit up that madness. Well, she did not inform me of the rules of pedicure-ness. She did not explain that I shouldn't say "yes" to everything because you end up spending more and more money.... "You want a massage for your legs" "Uh...sure" "You want a design on your toes?" "Um...yah, sounds great." "You want me to...." "Yes. YES! YES!" Good times. I got a pretty stellar design on my toes....Brittani got a tree. I told her she went all out to celebrate Arbor Day.

2.) Brittani introduced me to something called "Car Treats." The idea is to have a treat in the car for when you drive around...hence the name. Brilliant, I know! Well, we put a lot of effort into our car treats...something that wouldn't melt. something we both liked....um...and that was about all the effort needed. By the time Brittani went back to Utah I had bags and bags of jelly beans and sour candy caterpillars. Unreal. Talk about food storage. I could last for months on that stuff.

3.) Churros anyone? We ate our weight in churros. Our weight and 3.5 sumo wrestlers weight.

4.) While we were out on Arbor Day we went to this clothing store where Brittani proceeded to spray perfume on herself. Little did she know it was "old lady" smelling perfume. Needless to say, for the next 2 days I was pretty sure my car was either a nursing home or the Relief Society room in a family ward.

5.) Brittani was picking me up from this apartment complex and she couldn't remember where exactly to go and so we were texting about it and I told her to start just honking and i'd tell text her when she was getting closer. Well off in the distance I just hear a mad amount of random honking and it kept getting closer and closer until sure enough Brittani pulls up and I jump in the middle of the street. Thank goodness for a car horn. They are life savers.

6.) We saw the movie "State of Play" Russell Crowe is in it. The entire time Brittani kept leaning over to me to tell me about Russell Crowe except she called him, "Sheryl Crow" Close enough, eh? Only difference being one spells crow with an E and the other one doesn't.

7.) I almost had to bail Brittani out of jail...ok, so that might be a bit of an exaggeration. We were at the movie theatre. She decided to try and get in one of the giant movie displays....lucky her...a cop was standing right behind her. He did not approve. We walked out of the theatre....not in handcuffs. Thank goodness. I was just an innocent bystander, of course.

8.) One of my favorite quotes that came out of Brittani while she was home was, "I think I made a bird fall in love with me." We were in the middle of playing a game and she just says it like...no big deal. I look at her in disbelief and she proceeds to impersonate the birds call and sure enough...she sounded like a bird. I guess it was the bird's mating call cuz now the bird sits outside her window and chirps, chirps, chirps at her. Hilarious.

9.) Well Brittani and I are rappers. It's true. The radio kept saying that we should call underaged drinking in to "crimestoppers." Brittani said "Do they pay you?" So we figured if they paid us...we could do it for a full time job. We even came up with a rap for it... "That Crime you best stop or i'm gonna call the cop. I'm gonna shut down your crime even if it for a dime. You best not be drinkin or i'm gonna call crime stoppers in lincoln. Don't think you'll get far cuz we following ya in our car." We thought it was hilarious...but it was 1 in the AM!

10.) I would like to take this time to thank Brittani Danger Matson for helping me learn an important lesson about untying things verse unclipping things. Oh dang...we were a hot mess.

11.) We played with a cute puppy. It was a dot big...my lazy eye couldn't even find it it was so small. We almost stole it but no one was there to bail us outta jail.

That is all. the goodness just kept going and going. I hate when she is away. but dang we had fun.

good day.

-TSA

Random as they come.

Ten things from my life as of late....


1.) I went bowling on Saturday night. I did horrible but I borrowed a small child from someone and I actually bowl better with a baby on the hip. I can't tell you how long I wish I woulda known that...I coulda been a bowling sensation.


2.) I heard someone say this the other day..."He's indian...the dot kind not the feather kind." Can you even say that? Is that even legal?


3.) I have a new appreciation for my friend Meggie. She is deaf in one ear and I have come to find that I like sitting on that side during church because I feel like I can sing the hymns as loud and as proud as I want because she can't hear me. It's kinda faulty reasoning but I'm gonna go with it for now.


4.) The other day my co worker told me she "types as fast as a dead turtle." No other comment needed.


5.) I would like to thank my sister, Melissa, for the wonderful Easter Egg hunt she put on for the small children in the family and by small children I totally mean that I participated in that beast of an activity. It rocked and I won't lie...the lazy eye definitely helps find the most easter eggs.


6.) I have been thinking a lot about this question and have yet to come up with a sufficient answer....insight is welcome. Which is more awkward?....not being able to tell if a child is a boy or a girl OR not being able to tell if a lady is pregnant or not? I have a pro/con list and haven't been able to decide.


7.) Well my niece informed me that I am not an Aunt....apparently I am not a bug. Ant/Aunt. So confusing for a 3 year old.


8.) There is nothing that humbles you like walking down the stairs at an apartment complex singing and dancing to "Sexy Can I" and then missing a step and falling straight down the stairs. I'm not saying it happened to me...I just feel like that would be a humbling experience.


9.) I've never taken super long showers but times a change when you visit my friend Natalie. Their shower curtain is a map of the world. Let me tell you....showering has never been so dang entertaining. I just wanna put that out there in case you need something to spice up showering time. I loved it strong.


10.) This is legit. I support this for reals... www.marchforbabies.org/theduncans
Go team!




good day.
-T-